fbpx
Where Are You in The Expatriate Journey? A Reflection of My First Experience

Where Are You in The Expatriate Journey? A Reflection of My First Experience

(In my previous blog post, I provided insights into the Stages of the Expatriate Acculturation Journey. With an introduction of those stages, now I’d like to share my first experience moving abroad and what my journey as an expat looked like…)

My First Experience Abroad in a Cowboy & Indigenous Indian Town  

Who would’ve anticipated that from my first abroad experience that began in January 2005, I would go on to have five more international moves in less than seven years? I certainly wouldn’t have, and neither would those who knew me. How did this come to be? I’ll begin with the first experience, the first in a series of blog posts.

Stage 1. Pre-departure: Am I really doing this?

When the opportunity came my husband’s way to help a company build their Mexico business and operations from the ground up, it was a challenge that he couldn’t refuse. But, what did this mean for us? What about my career? I had recently started a new position at Intel, a role that involved working with people from around the globe. The technology was complex; the stakeholders were complex; there was resistance; there was dysfunction. The role required a significant amount of influence to build trust on a project that already had a bad reputation. My first 90-days were critical to my success and the success of the project. How was I going to be able to perform effectively abroad? The answer is in the former. My team and stakeholders were global – I would never meet most of them in person. This was part of the culture.

But, how was I going to approach this with my manager? I seized the moment in a comfortable space – we were at the gym on the elliptical. When I mentioned to him that I needed to “talk to him,” he said, “don’t tell me you’re quitting.” My response – “depends…” I explained the situation, and he responded with “You’ll work remotely. Your team is global; there’s really nothing different. Let’s try it out.”

Since the organizational culture supported a balance of office and remote work, the transition to 100% remote was an organic process. To prepare, I began to spend one day per week in the office, then I began working 100% remotely while still in the US to ensure that my team felt supported and were prepared. It was going to require a degree of trust and self-management on both ends. During the entire process, I never had one person question my decision or doubt my ability to perform from afar. I only recall support, professionally. Perhaps they were skeptical or had doubt, but it was not voiced. If anything, I formed connections with others who had also lived abroad and with those living in undeveloped countries. I don’t’ think any of us realized it at the time, but they were my support channels. 

Coincidentally, I was in the process of selling my home. I was able to sell it, have a moving sale, and move somewhere temporarily until my move. I even had someone to watch my cats until I could get a pulse on the situation and come back for them.

Then came the administrative challenges – Where do I get my mail sent? What do we do with our cars? What about banking, cell phone service, health insurance, healthcare and good internet connection?  That is an entire topic on its own that I will spare the details of in this blog. I decided to store my car for when I traveled back, and my husband drove our SUV to Mexico.

A few weeks prior to departure, my husband Ryan asked me if I would be flexible in going to a town called Creel instead of Oaxaca. Creel? I Googled it. A Cowboy and Indian town that is the gateway to the Copper Canyon at nearly 8,000 feet elevation. Population around 5,000 with the nearest airport three hours away in Chihuahua City. It’s a recreation mecca, the Copper Canyon is four times the volume of the Grand Canyon. Being the outdoors fanatic that I am, I embraced the idea. My only requirement was that we had a high-speed internet connection.

Ryan drove to Mexico, and two weeks later, I hopped on a plane and met him in Chihuahua. He found the only place for rent that had a phone line. This is important to mention because back then, you may wait up to two years to get a phone line. We upgraded from dial-up to high speed and ran the phone line from the downstairs laundromat and pharmacy (farmacia) to our apartment. You heard right, our phone line was in the laundromat.

Stage 3 Culture Shock: Is this really happening?

Why not the honeymoon period? Two days after arriving, Ryan had to leave on a 10-day trip. Yes, two days in a new country – I am terrible at Spanish, no friends, and am learning to drive a manual car in a foreign country. Besides immersing myself in work (Intel greatly benefited from my situation), I quickly became resourceful. I went to the rustic Best Western and asked if I could pay for use of their spa and gym. They were bewildered with my request but accepted. This became my sanctuary, especially during the cold nights since temperatures were in the high 60’s – 70’s during the day, often hail in the evenings, and typically below freezing at night.

I then went to a basketball game with the owner of the casa that we rented and attended a birthday party with his family afterward. When we arrived to the birthday party, I was offered a cerveza, and I accepted. I sat with the women (women and men socialized separately), and was the only female drinking. I later realized that the attendance of the basketball game with the husband was not a cultural norm and in that social circle, women typically didn’t drink. For a gringa, it was, however, acceptable. The next day was a Saturday, so I drove a mountainous road to a remote recreation area to go hiking solo. After asking several people in broken Spanish, I found the trail I was looking for. The wildness and spirituality were overwhelming.

Ryan had introduced me to a few people in the community prior to his trip, and I am forever thankful to the women who invited me over for dinner, coffee, and trips to the hot springs. We are friends to this day. They provided my intellectual outlet and helped me with the day-to-day. I learned that fresh vegetables were delivered to small mom and pop markets on Thursdays, and Mennonites brought fresh bread and cheese on Saturday. Fresh vegetables consisted of wilted broccoli with pre-washed spinach as a treat. There were few restaurants and only two bars of which only one would you want to venture in. The result was that we spent virtually no money. I made hummus with lime (you could not buy lemons) and mashed them with a fork. We made a lot of soup.

However, I realized it was important to get into a routine. Since India was a core part of my team, we rotated who shared the burden of night meetings every month. My manager would check-in to make sure that I took a break in the afternoon on the nights we had to work. I would take a hike, then go the gym or bicycle in Tarahumaran country (Tarahumaran Indians are known as the ultra-marathon “runners” who Nike discovered). Notice a theme – an organizational culture, leadership, and teammates that supported not only my situation but were aware of other’s situations. In India, some people took a bus two hours to work each day, women needed safe transport to work, and the monsoon season caused electrical and internet outages. I now had something in common with my counterparts there. I had empathy.

If only video conference was common then and my co-workers could see where I was working… and if only I would’ve had a coach or a community of first-timers to confide in, to tell me it was ok to have the ups and downs, to feel like the trailing spouse, to work through not being able to wander the halls.

The reality was that it was my first international move and to parts of Mexico extremely remote and highly traditional with high rates of poverty. Some of the Tarahumarans still lived in remote cave dwellings, didn’t speak Spanish and subsisted on very basic diets. There wasn’t a honeymoon period; it was humbling and forever changed me. I adventured as much as I could, and I established Mexican friendships. Even though I took the time each day for exercise or my outlet in nature, I found myself working long hours from my house with minimal daily integration and contact with the community. English was not commonly spoken, and there were no formal Spanish courses being taught or meetups or professional groups. Women played a traditional role in society. I often felt isolated.  

Each person’s experience is unique, and there are no hard and fast timetables to adjusting to your new life. But, there are tools and strategies that make this process faster and easier. This incredible experience is as much personal as it is geographic; your journey will be defined by how you react to the more challenging moments.

My next chapter begins with our move to Oaxaca, which presented an entirely new set of challenges and experiences that will stay with me for a lifetime.

Where Are You in The Expatriate Journey? 5 Stages of The Journey

Where Are You in The Expatriate Journey? 5 Stages of The Journey

A Roadmap of Expat Acculturation

You made it happen. You are now living abroad. You have deftly completed the tasks on a long checklist from having a garage sale back home to figuring out how to open an electricity account in your new home country. You maintained a brave face so far, as the journey that has been paved with twists, turns and the occasional bump in the road. Some you anticipated; others, not so much. Or… maybe you dream of living abroad someday, or just arrived to your new country, or perhaps a few years into your new reality. No matter where you are in the expatriate journey, an understanding of the stages of the expatriate integration process will help to serve as a guide throughout your experience.

  1. Pre-departure: Am I really doing this?

As you prepare for the departure date, you are mixed with feelings of excitement, sadness and a fair bit of exhaustion, as you try to tie up the innumerable loose ends. Bittersweet conversations with friends who are so excited for you, the awkward feeling of goodbyes and your internal realization – this chapter of life is coming to an end. You are surprised by the strength of the occasional wave of emotions you feel, but you put your game face on, board the plane and jump into a new reality.

  1. Honeymoon: Vacations never felt like this

Your expatriate journey begins with the honeymoon stage, where you are constantly stimulated by a barrage of new experiences: sights, sounds and smells that feed your insatiable curiosity. Your excitement is palpable as you explore your new environs and carry out everyday tasks. You are left with the same thought over and over: “Wow, this is where I live?” You are truly impressed with yourself and how you have handled this momentous shift; however, the initial elation ebbs after the first month or so as uncertainty shows itself from under your adrenaline-filled armor.

  1. Culture Shock: Is this really happening?

The “newness” of your transplant home is wearing off, and some of the same things you found so intriguing a few weeks ago now grate on your nerves. It starts slow, but builds as you increasingly can’t help but question the seemingly illogical way things are done, comparing them to the “way they do it back home.” You feel fatigued trying to communicate in a new language and successfully navigate the cultural labyrinth without offending the locals. Minor frustrations build inside you until you feel anger boiling beneath your trying-to-be-calm exterior. You probably thought it would not happen to you, but you have entered the second phase – you are in “culture shock.” Don’t be discouraged; everyone has these feelings to different degrees, but the way you cope in the face of these challenges will define your expatriate experience.

  1. Transformation: Finding your groove

The transformation stage is longer than the culture shock stage, but with some time, frustration and longing for something familiar are replaced with a true appreciation of the lifestyle and culture of your new country… You are becoming an expat. To make this transition much easier, there are important coping activities and tools that you can practice and utilize. For example, you should establish new routines, introduce yourself to your neighbors, make new friends (not just other expats!), and participate in local activities (clubs, events, celebrations, sporting events, etc). This transformative stage will be an incredibly rewarding process as you learn and experience the cultural richness of your new home empowering you with a deeper understanding of your own cultural identity.

  1. Integration: A whole new reality

You have accepted and embraced your new lifestyle by successfully bridging the cultural chasm that once existed. While you will never be a native, you have transformed yourself into an expatriate, a citizen of the world. There will be the occasional frustration, but all in all, you are generally happy and at ease in your new life. Some expats will never reach the final stage as they remain stuck in the transformative stage, isolated and unwilling to accept and embrace the cultural nuances of their host country. Others take it to the other extreme rejecting their own culture, which can be equally divisive to long-term happiness. For expats on short-term assignments, achieving full-integration poses to be a challenge since often they leave while in the Culture Shock or Transformation stage.

While standard “cross-cultural training” programs and off-the-shelf “fact sheets” on particular countries provide value, they do not fully prepare one for the array of personal and professional challenges associated with relocation abroad. Early on in my expatriate experience, I wish I would have experienced the power of coaching. I enlisted a coach mid-way. Here’s what I found (and now practice): “the power of coaching provides a personalized approach that makes it possible for you to rediscover your identity and allows you to engage your healthy sense of curiosity to become a contributing member and leader within your new community and workplace.” This changed everything for me.

Each person’s experience is unique, and there are no hard and fast timetables to adjusting to your new life, but there are tools and strategies that make this process faster and easier. This incredible experience is as much personal as it is geographic; your journey will be defined by how you react to the more challenging moments.

Stay tuned for Part IIthe author’s personal expatriate experience….

About the Author:

Michelle Sullivan is co-founder and Managing Partner of Sullivan Global Consulting and is an expert in Cross-Cultural Leadership, Coaching, and Communications. As an executive coach and consultant, she works with individuals and organizations in the areas of Expatriate, Repatriate and Intercultural challenges. Michelle is Certified in Human Synergistics Organizational Culture model (OCI) and tools and leverages Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions in her coaching and leadership work with her clients. Michelle was also Managing Partner with Dragonfly Consultants, a certified WBE company, which focused on organizational culture transformation, diversity and inclusion, women leaders, and leadership development. Her entrepreneurial spirit drew her to launch Belle Michelle Fashion, which features Latin American inspired handbags with a funky twist.

Michelle holds a BS in Environmental & Natural Sciences from the University of Michigan, an MS in Global Business & Leadership and has guest lectured at the University of San Diego on the topic of working in cross-cultural teams and abroad.

She’s held corporate leadership roles in global environments for over 20 years and lived, worked and studied in Mexico, Argentina, Ireland and France –  living in five countries in six years with her husband, who is a dual US/Irish citizen. Michelle currently splits her time between California and Mexico.

All Talk or Do you Really Live it?

All Talk or Do you Really Live it?

Are you an Effective Leader? How do you Know?

Leadership is a topic that has been studied and debated for centuries, and simply one definition of leadership would not suffice. There are distinguishing differences between a manager, leader, and an effective leader, but they are not mutually exclusive. Over time, leadership styles have changed to adapt from a stability model to change and crisis leadership; some willingly and some hesitantly. The greatest leaders are high influencers, relationship builders at all levels, and are highly adaptable to diverse situations and personalities and can be extroverted or introverted. Effective leaders exhibit an advanced level of emotional and contextual intelligence, and encompass both management and leadership competencies.

To lead high-performing teams, you must first create a motivated team. Many managers do not realize that directive and authoritative leadership is not effective in the modern business world and is counter-productive. I believe that we are people, not workers, or simply a number, and in order for an organization to be profitable and competitive, it needs to be high performing. In the long-term, leading out of fear in an environment of low morale will not prevail. Employees need to be motivated to be high performing, and in order to accomplish this, the organization needs to employ effective leaders – leaders who “lead by example, who walk the talk.”

Effective leaders know how to adapt to each employee and understand if intrinsic or extrinsic rewards motivate them. One employee may be motivated by an increase in salary whereas other employees may be motivated by recognition for a job well done. Once the motivating factors are determined based on dialogue with your employees, you need to create a personal development plan, which should include incremental goals. The key is to create a “great place to work” where everyone looks forward to coming to work, feeling their work has a sense of purpose and meaning. Once there is a positive work culture, even menial tasks are not looked upon as loathsome.

I have been in situations where morale has been exceptionally low due to several factors such as previous poor leadership, mistrust, downsizing (“do more with less”), bureaucracy, unethical business practices, etc., and I have introduced several methods that were effective. Team building is one of the first steps to creating a motivated workforce. Depending on the team location and culture, determine an exercise that will take the employees offsite, out of their comfort zone, and engaged in interactive activities. In the case where there may be teammates who are known to have interpersonal issues between each other, I suggest pairing them together for a fun activity. It is amazing what an impact icebreakers can have on easing the tension. This allows individuals to view each other in a positive perspective that they perhaps never had up until this point. In my experience, if there are issues in the future, they will be more mindful and not as emotionally reactive; they will become better team players.

In instances where teams consist of varying cultures, it is important to provide cross-cultural training. This helps reduce misunderstandings and how to effectively work with other cultures. For example, as an American working with China, I know that in a meeting, I will have to directly engage with individuals who are below me in position or if their manager is in the meeting. Their culture is not to be forthright even if there is an issue, so I know that I cannot expect them to openly discuss an issue or debate with a superior.

I also established 1:1’s where I would meet regularly with people on my team to have an open discussion in addition to setting and tracking goals and development plans. As a follower, this was tremendously beneficial for me to have with my managers. Depending on the team and employee, I suggest meeting weekly or bi-weekly for 30 minutes to an hour at set times to ensure they do occur. I also encourage you to get creative. Think about taking a “walking meeting.” Not only is this a healthy option, it creates a more informal setting that may foster deeper and more creative discussions.

To keep the team engaged, either creating or revisiting the mission and as a team through participative decision-making is optimal, and having regular team building sessions (quarterly or bi-annually depending on the situation) will ensure this is executed. This is in addition to regularly scheduled team meetings, which should be held weekly or bi-weekly.

In summary, ask yourself, are you an effective leader who is capable of being adaptable, open-minded, and willing to change? Are you truly leading by example? You have more influence than you may realize.